National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation has Clark Griswold. Hamilton has Frank Shelton. Take a quick drive down Hamilton Road past Crossroads just a mile or two off of Highway 45 any given night around Halloween or Christmas for two eyefuls of animatronic and illuminescent yard decorations that light up an otherwise dimly stretch of asphalt.

“Most months of the year, my power bill is $200, but my October and December readings are around $450,” Frank said.

He and his wife, Pam, moved with their kids to Hamilton a couple of years ago to trade the city life for the country and have since kept adding and adding to their holiday décor.

“As soon as you turn off of the highway, it looks like you’re driving towards an airport runway. I have cars drive back really slow and stop by all the time,” Frank said.

Beginning the second week of September, Shelton starts unboxing and emptying out storage units and closets full of jack-o-lanterns, inflatables, masks and creepy figures to establish the ghouliest and ghastliest front lawn in Monroe County.

“My brother was into Halloween and he started showing me decorations when we’d go to the different stores and I started buying two or three and I had to keep on buying them. It’s like an addiction,” he said.

As soon as Halloween has passed each year, Shelton empties the clearance aisles of Lowes, Wal-Mart and several other stores to stock up for the following year.

“If somebody is at an auction and they throw some Halloween stuff up for sale, I’m going to buy it. I’ve also gotten stuff from rummage sales. If a figure is missing an arm or a leg, that makes it even better because the scarier it looks, the better,” he said.

What begins with a flashing arrow sign in the front yard reading, ‘Frank is dying to see you,’ tracks through the front yard full of homemade and store bought characters and scenarios set to the glow of orange string lights, up the front porch over a gaggle of rubber snakes and beside several frightening creatures, through the front door into a sensor-activated field of life-size scary figures to a downstairs-worth of much the same and up the stairs to a net of cobwebs.

The Sheltons’ son and daughter don’t really get into the Halloween spirit of trick-or-treating, dressing up or even the everyday surroundings of their own house.

“The kids are so used to it. They don’t care anything about it. We took them trick-or-treating down one street one year and they were ready to go back home,” Pam said.

While their kids don’t get into the spirit that much, trick-or-treaters from around the area love the chance to experience the Sheltons’ house on Halloween and each year the decorations attract more and more of them.

“We gave out $100 worth of candy last year and we figure we’re going to have to go back for more this year,” Pam said.

“We had 125 trick-or-treaters last year and they were lined all down the porch into the driveway like this was a buffet. We’re expecting more than 200 this year,” Frank said.

Halloween night and the Sheltons’ annual Halloween party are the two crown jewels of the season and it’s mostly for these two events Frank puts in so much work on the inside and outside of the house.

“After Halloween is over with, I’ll start to get depressed that I did all this work for really eight hours worth of events. But then I’ll start thinking about Christmas and I’m excited until New Years when I have to take all of that down. But then I start thinking about decorating for Easter,” Frank said.

Frank wants to set his yard apart from everyone else by decorating for every major calendar holiday. He is currently looking for Valentine’s Day inflatables for February.

“I gotta do something to keep my light bill high. You gotta throw your money into something,” he said.